top five things i wish people would stop wearing
1. those yellow rubber bracelets. every time i see one i think well THERE'S someone i can't bum a smoke from.
2. rosaries-as-necklaces. (do you even know what that's FOR?)
3. polo shirts with the oversized logo. OKAY, polo, i get it, polo, polo.
4. 7 jeans. their tags read "seven: for all mankind. $230." (hmm.)
5. tee shirts with slogans so awkward you feel embarrassed just reading them (including, "if you think i'm a bitch you should meet my mother" "not everything's flat in kansas" and "cloning is cool.") i wish i could tell these people "next time you feel an urge to shop at urban outfitters, i want you to take the money and throw it away."
let there be light
what a great name.
fresh out of batteries but still making noise
sometimes i think my apartment is the most mellow place on earth. in fact, someday when i am older and a yuppie, and maybe even (gasp) married, i could have a soft-sleep-machine that makes noises that make me feel safe.
it could have an SS setting:
send it! . . . ship it! . . . ship . . . the POT . . . to ME . . . IMMEDIATELY . . . FOLD! . . . i think i'd dig the south . . . i hate it here . . . .
or the GC setting?
you guys gotta come to north carolina . . . just so you can see what NC is all about . . . dude . . . have you ever tried to write drunk in total darkness?
or the liripipe setting?
how do you spell darkness? the king is gone but but he's not . . . how do you spell "forgotten?"
drunken gratuity: a guide"living in new york is a sisyphean struggle against common sense . . . ."
there was a good article in the ny press this week that you should read.
back in the game
eb white once wrote "no one should live in new york unless they're willing to be lucky."
and i am. willing always, lucky sometimes.
and this website is clutch.
naivete strikes again
me: so, you guys are real hunters and gatherers.
shawn: yea. not like the states. lobster, salmon . . . mushrooms . . .
katinka: blueberries . . . it's all free.
shawn: reindeer . . .
shawn: well, sure.
me: reindeer are for santa claus, not for eating!!
me: alright, alright. how bout another round.
katinka: you didn't bring a bikini??
me: um. no. i thought it would be . . . snowing.
katinka: did you think there would be polar bears too? here, borrow mine.naivete also
katinka: these are the fields . . .
me: wow. pretty.
katinka: that's -- what you call -- stuff to make flow-er?
katinka: for bread?
me: yea. in english it's "wheat."
katinka: wheat. we have lots of wheat. do you have wheat in kansas?
oslo, with its 25% sales tax, is enough to give a new yorker pause. was i really COMPLAINING about 8 cents on the dollar two weeks ago? zowie. no wonder they sell cigarettes by the half-pack here.
norwegians are cute
thank you = takk
no = nei
good afternoon = god dag
please/you're welcome = vær så god
cheers! = skål!
do you take credit cards? = tar du kredittkort?
i gathered a million blueberries today off the side of a mountain and drank from a freezing clear stream. a girl named katinka helped me gather shells on the beach. she introduced me to norwegian trance and brown cheese for breakfast.
norway keeps a low profile and it's a good thing. if everyone saw what i see, everyone would be here . . . and norway wouldn't be norway.
i am splittin. for britain. and norway.